How to Annoy the Flock
by Fatal Excuses
Summary: Title should really explain... More on the way!
1. Fang

_Ways to annoy the heck out of the flock!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. I wouldn't be here if I did, now would I?**

**~*Fang*~**

**1.** Tell him he's silent but deadly. Wait a couple seconds and yell: **Like a Gazzy's fart!!!**

**2. **Poke him. Constantly.

**3.** Scream at the top of your lungs the song "I believe I can fly!" over and over.

**4.** Dye his clothes pink.

**5. **Proceed to do the same to his hair.

**6.** Stick a pink care bear in his back pack.

**7.** Make sure the whole flock sees it. Especially Max.

**8. **Put glitter all over her laptop.

**9. **After you paint it pink. Magenta pink.

**10.** Get him a pet dog.

**11**. Name it Ari.

**12.** Tell him Max left him for Ari, when he says Ari's dead, and her brother, shrug and say, "Sad isn't it?"

**13. **Show him a video of Max and Sam making out over and over and over.

**14.** Throw a box of erasers on the ground

**15.** Run a way screaming, "Erasers! Oh NOOOOO!"

**16.** When he's asleep give a makeover.

**17. ** Ask him to play dress up with you. When he says no give him 'bambi eyes'.

**18.** Buy him a hot- pink teddy bear name it Max

**19.** Make him with Angel with it.

**20. ** Hack into his blog and type 'I love Max' for pages and pages. Make sure_ everyone_ sees it.

**21. **Lockhim in a small, confined room without windows with Nudge.

**22. **Make sure to give her coffee, soda, candy, anything with sugar really.

**23. ** Ask 'Why' after everything he says.

**24.** Sing the constipation song with Gazzy over and over(this will annoy the whole flock too)

**25.** Whenever he's near Max, have Gazzy make moaning noises.

Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Don't forget to review, the button's getting lonely 

~FangismyEdward


	2. Iggy

_Thank you for the reviews! _

_Cookies and milk for the reviewers: Dancing Hybrid, Silentflier, and my Bestest most wondrous little pyro-maniac: IggyismyEdward!!!_

**Disclaimer: Is this really necessary?**

~*Iggy*~

**1.** Move all of the furniture.

**2.** 'Forget' to tell him

**3.** 'Accidently' trip with a paintball gun in your hands and make the walls tye-dye.

**4.** Tell him you think it looks pretty, when he asks why you did it

**5. **Keep saying "did you see that?!" every 10 seconds.

**6.** Make Gazzy fart near his face, light a match.

**7.** Prepare to run like hell.

**8.** Set off a bomb in Max's room, blame Iggy.

**9.** Ask him, "Why Iggy! Why did you do that?!" for the next month.

**10. **When he tells you to stop, say "Why, you gonna blow my room up too?"

**11. **Ask him to play I-spy with you.

**12.** Throw his clothes out and give him dresses instead.

**13. ** Touch Iggy and ask him what color you are over and over.

**14.** Put purple dye in his shampoo and pink in his body wash.

**15.** Laugh hysterically when he says what say "Nothing. Nothing at all."

**16. **Put porno all over his walls, call him a pervert.

**17.** When he gets mad and asks why say, "Look at your walls! Ooohh, riiiiiight. Too bad for you."

**18.** Put rakes and mouse traps all over the floor. **(A/N: my friend and I were laughing uncontrollably at the mental picture.)**

**19.** Put temporary walls all over the place.

**20.** Ask him to play hide-and-go-seek, when he agrees, ditch him.

**21. **Run into him and say, "Iggy! Watch where you're going!" then walk away.

**22.** Set booby-traps all over the place.

**23. ** Say, "Iggy, you should have seen it! It was totally awesome!"

**24. ** When Iggy reaches for something, take it away.

**25.** Laugh when he can't find it.

_Thanks for reading!_

_Kudos to whoever reviews! _

_FangismyEdward_


	3. Max

_Seconds Chappie today!_

_~*Max*~_

**1. ** Tell her Fang left her for Lissa (Red-haired-Wonder [SOF reference])

**2.** Then Brigid

**3. **Ask her how she could just let Ari take Angel to the school every 10 seconds. (TAE reference)

**4. **Put a sign outside the kitchen that says '_No Max's Allowed'_

**5.** Ask her how a guy, younger than her and is_ blind_ can cook better than her every possible chance you get.

**6.** Take all of her clothes and get the girly-est **(A/N: is that a word?)** clothes possible.

**7.** Whenever she says something about her 'voice', imply that she is crazy

**8.** Ask her why everyone else has better powers than her.

**9.** Tell her Angel would be a better leader.

**10. **Ask her if she's emo. (SOF reference pg.305?.)

**11. **When she gets mad ask her if its that 'special' time of the month.

**12. **Bust through the door and yell, "The Erasers are coming! The Erasers are coming!"

**13. **Then chuck pencil erasers at her.

**14.** Point to a random bird and say ," That could be your cousin."

**15.** Ask her if she thinks Fang is good in bed

**16. **In front of the entire Flock, Jeb, her mom, and sister.

**17.** Put superglue all over her clothes and make her hug Fang.

**18.** Snap a picture and post it all over the web.

**19. **Put pictures of Fang all over her walls with hearts on them

**20. **After everything she says yell, "YOUR MOM!" **(A/N: this annoys everybody)**

**21. **Stare at her suspiciously for a long time.

**22.** Pluck a feather unexpectedly and ask, "Did that hurt?"

**23.** Tell her Ari's alive. Then say "Just kidding! Or am I? No, I am. Or am I really?" Continue this till she snaps.

**24.** Ask her to go shopping with you, over and over and over.

**25. **Say, "How could you kill your own brother?" and shake your head.

_Thanks for reading! _

_Click on the button, it won't bite. Or will it?_

_FangismyEdward_


	4. author note

Sorry! I cant think of how to annoy Gazzy, Nudge and Angel!

So If any of you have suggestions, I would be grateful If you could help.

OR else this story is complete. That or I figure something out.

~FangismyEdward.


End file.
